72 Hours in Las Vegas

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I just lost my Vegas Virginity. This is weird because I’m 24, was at a time obsessed with EDM and partying, and am from LA/SF which is pretty close to Vegas. Probably for the best, I waited until this past September to go to Vegas for the first time. My BFF Jazper, invited a handful of our closest friends from college to celebrate his 25th birthday in Vegas, and I used it as an excuse to head to LA to peep my soon to be new office (YAAAS I’m moving) and turn up.

I feel like Vegas attracts largely three types of people. The convention go-er who is chilling on their work dime, the EDM enthusiast who has club promoter numbers on deck (thanks Sheena for getting us into Hakkassan with a fucked ratio), and the people who think Vegas is a classy place to go on a vacation and experience the finer things in life. The latter is my favorite because I too appreciate a tasteful 3 foot tall drink and restaurant from a celebrity chef with a TV show.

We stayed in a suite in the Venetian that I got the hookup from via JusCollege via a colleague. We packed myself, Drew, Erin, Ramon, Angel, Jazper, and Marie in that room with pretty much no problem so I’d say it was a great deal. Hit me up if you want me to link you with this hotel promoter / discount giver.

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Me lingering the Venetian pool where a lot of old couples were making out. Spray tan by Brazil Bronze Soho (best deal in town but ignore where I spilled water on my shoulder lol)

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Best believe I had one of these in my hand within one hour of landing. I know from experience in NOLA that the bellini flavor is the best but weakest (use it to top off your drink). My Louboutin red nails match the cup. Possibly intentional. 

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Nobody puts baby on in the gutter. (The weirdest thing isn’t these escort trading cards but rather the women whos job is to aggressively slap them in their hands to catch your attention)

During the day, I was happy to do a lot of exploring, which included gambling, using gambling money to buy tacos, and tacky gift shops.

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Swear to god all I do is CASH OUTTTT. This is a big deal to me because I had never gambled before.

Apparently the spot in Vegas for cheap food is Tacos El Gordo, a small chain that serves Mexican street style tacos. As always, I ordered the el pastor and was stoked to be spending $5 on a meal as I anticipated the level of rip off at all of the casino restaurants I would end up going to.

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I was very hungover at TAO and snuck in this zeppoli I got from the Venetian Italian cafe. This lovely visor was a $4 come up from a mega gift shop my girl Bebe Zeva, a vegas local referred me to. 

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Since I’ve retired from my bottle rat club days, a mega club where Martin Garrix was headlining is not exactly my home away from home. 

My lovely friend who frequents Vegas, Sheena, referred me to a promoter I came only to know by “Brandon Hakkasan” who listed us for the club. The club was alright, your usual $18 drink scam you by not asking if you don’t want grey goose can’t sit down or even lean type of spot. But….. we did see Mike Tyson in the casino as we were walking, Marie managed to meet a general practitioner / muy thai fighter that later covered 100% of her drinks the entire weekend, and Jazper charmed his way into said general practitioners bachelor party bottle service situation.

cheetahs-strip-clubThankfully after Hakkasan we came to our senses and realized that the only club worth being at was a strip club. Fun fact, Iggy Azalea shot a video here.

Vegas life hack is calling a strip club and getting them to pick you up in their free limo/shuttle and bring you to their club. Vegas cabs are EXPENSIVE. I learned this a bit late, but I highly recommend it to you. Also, most clubs have a situation where if you enter through the back, that is the VIP/guest list and you can get hooked up, but cabs also get a bonus for bringing customers through the front and will argue with you about this. My favorite thing was seeing Drew timidly hand a stripper $20 into her hand timidly.

IMG_3122These sashimi tacos were dope.

What is Vegas without some cheesy chain/wannabe upscale food? Drew and I obviously opted for Guy Fieri’s (who he has accurately described as a human chili cheese fry) restaurant (which accurately describes itself as “a one way ticket to flavor town.” It was.)

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You know what those fries are? FIVE WAY FRIES. FIVE DIFFERENT TYPES OF FRY LIVING IN HARMONY IN MY STOMACH.

We got a cheese burger that had bacon and mac-n-cheese on it and it was absolutely awesome. Pre-gaming going out with this was maybe not the best idea but I feel like excess is the name of the game in Vegas.

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And my #1 Vegas tip: Go to the Neon Museum!

As you can see here, I went to the Neon Museum in prime sun and heat. This was a tour that began at 9:30 am which would have been absolutely impossible had I not gotten 8+ hours of sleep Sunday night because I stayed in via hangover. The Neon Museum is an amazing collection of neon signage from Las Vegas from the beginning development of the city. The museum only allows tours, which are guided by kinda cheesy nerdy historians who taught me a lot of things about Rat Pack and mob era Vegas. The tickets are about $20. Initially I was really sad I couldn’t go at night because it sold out, but I then realized that only a few of the signs are restored and working so the best way to see them is during the day.

  • StripRez.com

    next time you’re in Sin City, remember that there are booking services that get you limo and 2 drinks through the door at Vegas strip clubs

    • Lina Abascal

      I heard about this. So I can visit your website and organize this? What is the catch ahha.